Fingal and More

 The other day I tuned into our local public radio station and heard mention of the name “Fingal.” They weren’t talking about that little town north of Nome in our area but the name of an old Scottish hero. This was the name of the hero in James Macpherson's 1762 epic poem named “Fingal,” which he claimed to have based on early Gaelic legends.

     Apparently the local North Dakota town was named and settled by immigrants from Fingal, Ontario, Canada. For what it’s worth, just three other communities in the U. S. have the name and are located in California, Idaho, and Kansas. The community in Ontario, Canada was named for a county within the Dublin Region of Ireland. In turn that name derives from the medieval territory of Fine Gall, the Viking settlement north of Dublin. It’s easy to see how Fine Gall converts to Fingal.  

     Granted, a reader of this might not find these facts particularly interesting, but I enjoy  tracing the origin of a name or word. The epic poem named “Fingal” is interesting to read. I found it on the internet after this popped up: “Fingal: An Ancient Epic Poem in Six Books.” The poems talk of the deeds of mythic warriors and the spirits of their ancestors. Fingal was a  warrior king who demonstrated valor in defending the oppressed. Something like Robin Hood perhaps?

     There is a rhythm and beauty in Macpherson’s passages that remind literature lovers of Homer and his famous book-length poems The Iliad and The Odyssey. Here’s a random selection of a few: “Cuthullin sat by Tura's wall : by the tree of the rustling sound. His spear leaned against a rock. His shield lay on grass by his side… He spoke, like a wave on a rock… Now I behold the chiefs, in the pride of their former deeds! Their souls are kindled at the battles of old; at the actions of other times. Their eyes are flames of fire. They roll in search of the foes of the land. Their mighty hands are on their swords. Lightning pours from their sides of steel. They come like streams from the mountains ; each rushes roaring from his hill.” But we’ll set Fingal for now.

     It’s not my nature to be serious all the time, and since I love a good joke I’m always on the lookout. I thought this one about a horse sitting down in a movie theater was pretty good when the woman next to him asks, “Excuse me… are you a horse?”

     “Why yes, I am,” replies the horse.

     “What are you doing at this movie?”

     The horse says, “I really liked the book.”

     Ole and Lena jokes can make me laugh or at least smile at their ridiculousness. In this one Ole was in trouble. He’d forgotten his wedding anniversary and his wife, Lena, was really angry.

She told him, "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 PRETTY Darn FAST!

     The next morning Ole got up early and left for work. When Lena woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a gift-wrapped box in the middle of the driveway.

     Confused, Lena put on her robe and ran out to the driveway and brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

     Ole has been missing since Friday.

     Time is relative when seen from the teller’s perspective. Here is a good example. A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged by two snails. When the police show up, they ask him what happened. The shaken turtle replies, “I don’t know. It all happened so fast.”

     I found humor in all of the above, even though some will call them “groaners.” I recently found a variation on jokes called paraprosdokians. They are simply stated in a sentence or two and have a surprise ending, such as “If I agreed with you, then we’d both be wrong.” It’s this one that really hits home, “I'm supposed to respect my elders, but it's getting harder and harder for me to find someone older than me.” 

     My favorite comes from Winston Churchill who was at odds with a woman in the Parliament.  She once said to him, “If you were my husband, I’d poison your tea.” He quickly retorted, “Madam, if you were my wife, I’d drink it.” So long for now.

Here's a rumor to repeat

 A limerick written about the Fox News story that they had to later retract -

Here's a rumor to repeat.

It's almost set in concrete.

It's about Biden

And how he'll widen

The road to banning meat.

The rumor originated with a British scandal magazine called The Daily Mail.

Sheldon 5-6th Grades. 1953-54.

 Sheldon 5-6th grades. 1953-54.

Front: Larry Strand, Tom Marsden, Ron Bartholomay, Curtiss Good, Robbie Good, Ralph Bartholomay, Dennis Schossow, Curt Bunn.

Middle: Rollie Sandvig, Bill Heuer, Harold Cleveland, Leonard Johnson, Salmer Aanstad, Richard Schroeder, Lynn Bueling,Lanny Swanson, Joel Bartholomay.

Back: Kathy Cullen, Dianne Bucholz, Connie Bartholomay, Marilyn Schossow, Pat Kaspari, Janet Newton, Susan Mougey, Charlene Kaatz, Betty Bunn.

The Hand of Mary

 The hand of Mary and that good ole Wishek sausage in the pan. I can report it did taste good. One thing stands out from our day trip to Wishek, Strasburg, and Linton: the dry brown color on the prairie as you look out from the car window. Granted, it's a bit early, but there was not a hint of green.

Getting Out

 A lot of pent up energy from the past year needed an outlet. Yesterday we got in our car and drove. Having heard that good sausage can be found in Wishek, we thought why not find out. A stronger reason though was to visit with her cousin who recently lost his wife. We hadn’t seen him since and now had a pleasant visit with him. There were more miles to drive. Michael Miller told us recently we should drive to Strasburg and visit some of the historic German-Russian cemeteries located there. We located just the one located in the middle of a field where a road did not lead. Walking across dry grass that crunched underfoot, we entered the Tiraspol Cemetery. It contains only a few grave markers today, but at one time was sizable. A plaque on a fencepost lists a hundred or so names. As we understood it, most of the graves were relocated to other cemeteries. A diphtheria epidemic in the 1890s claimed the lives of many of them.

Presidents and the West

 

Joe Biden numbers forty-six on an ever-lengthening line of U. S. presidents. Ask anybody who served first in the office and they’ll name George Washington. But then ask them to  name a few more in the order of their service and the hemming and hawing begins. I had a college professor who had us memorize them, so I could recite them at the time. Bear in mind that was in 1963 when John F. Kennedy numbered only the 35th. 

   For those who know the long line, take it another step and list the big events or accomplishments each president achieved. Then take it one last step. What impact did each have on the development of the region we call the West? Different historians compile varying lists that don’t always agree in names or numbers. We’ll decide who should be included and make our own list.

   1. Thomas Jefferson - The fact of his Louisiana Purchase in 1803 has been taught early in our schools and can’t be argued with. It doubled the size of the country at the time. Who knew the future president James Monroe negotiated the deal when he served as Jefferson’s emissary to France? 

   2. Abraham Lincoln - He did more than free the slaves. He spurred Congress to establish the Homestead Act  where settlers could claim 160 acres of surveyed government land; the Morrill Act that allowed for the creation of land-grant colleges in U.S. states using the proceeds of federal land sales; and the Pacific Railroad Act promoted the construction of a transcontinental railroad by authorizing the issuance of government bonds and the grants of land to railroad companies.

   3. James K. Polk -  From his presidential action we can say, “from sea to shining sea.” He saw successful completion of his major goals, a couple of which were to secure the Oregon Territory from Great Britain and acquire the territories of California and New Mexico from Mexico with the Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo.

   4. Theodore Roosevelt -  Among other things, TR was the conservationist president and wanted lands kept away from developers and set aside for future generations. He established five national parks, sixteen national monuments, four game refuges, and fifty-one national bird reservations. He created the National Forest Service along with the Reclamation Service.

   5. Franklin D. Roosevelt -  Among many other things, after the devastating effects of the depression, FDR created several institutions that affected this homeland of ours: The Civilian Conservation Corps (CCC) which employed three million men over a nine year period. The Agricultural Adjustment Act (AAA) increased farm income by 50% by paying farmers subsidies to reduce crop production. Public Works Administration (PWA) built large-scale public works and drove America’s biggest construction effort up to that time, including dams, bridges, hospitals, and schools. We can’t forget Social Security and a national minimum wage.

   6. Dwight D. Eisenhower - He forwarded a huge plan to Congress for them to  consider and approve the National Interstate and Defense Highway Act (1956) which gave birth to our modern, interstate highway system. It was the largest public-works program in U. S. history. Eisenhower had first realized the value of good highways in 1919, when he participated in the U.S. Army's first transcontinental motor convoy from Washington, DC, to San Francisco. Again, during World War II, Eisenhower saw the German advantage that resulted from their autobahn highway network, and he also noted the enhanced mobility of the Allies, on those same highways, when they fought their way into Germany. These experiences significantly shaped Eisenhower's views on highways and their role in national defense. It is a road system many of us travel on frequently.

   7. Jimmy Carter - Alaska National Interest Lands Conservation Act (1980) - It was, and remains to date, the single largest expansion of protected lands in history and more than doubled the size of the National Park System. It created or added to 13 national parks, 16 wildlife refuges, 2 national forests, 2 national monuments, 2 conservation areas, and 26 wild and scenic rivers. All-in-all ANILCA protected more than 104 million acres in Alaska.

   What will future presidents do? President Biden is preparing an infrastructure bill that will impact all of our lives. It’s in the arguing stage now, then negotiation. I predict something will come of it. Should any other presidents be added to the list? James Monroe and the Monroe Doctrine? LBJ’s Civil Rights Act and Voting Rights Act? Ronald Reagan’s stirring the conservative West? Andrew Jackson’s relocating Indians? Readers can add or delete from this list. As I stated at the beginning, this is my list.

Prairie Fires and More

 

The word “drought” connotes an undesirable condition which I doubt anyone wants, but an open winter has left us dry. Because of it, the evil partners of fire and wind see the opportunity to run on the prairie and roar with contempt as they chase and destroy everything in front of them. Thankfully our volunteer fire departments block them. Money to furnish these volunteers with the proper equipment is money well spent. There’s usually more and newer equipment to buy, but they work on with what they have.

     There was a time when equipment wasn’t available, and the only thing standing between the fire and safety were a few people who spotted smoke on the horizon and came running to slap at the flames with sacks and blankets. 

     We only need to look at the fire at Fort Ransom in 1867 to help understand how dangerous a prairie fire can be. A hunting party of Metis camped outside the fort found themselves in the fire’s path. As the commander of the fort wrote, “In a few minutes a genuine hurricane swept us, carrying everything before it.” Twenty Metis died. The fort itself was saved because of a sudden shift of wind.

     I’ve read several historical accounts where ranch hands of a century and more ago resorted to gruesome tactics to stop a fire. They would sort out a critter to kill, spread its carcass to full width, and drag it behind a galloping horse to snuff the lip of the advancing flames. The National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals was never mentioned.

     Mari Sandoz wrote of life in the Nebraska Sandhills and related her experiences. While still youngsters, she and her brother stood watching one fire which drove animals before it: “While we stood dumbfounded, a coyote tore past, not five feet away. Cattle bawled. We saw their flying feet below the smoke, heard the thunder of their hoofs.”

     Willa Cather wrote of her aunt and uncle moving to their new homestead.  “When they finally made it from the town to their lot, the aunt and uncle settled down for the night—then a whipping prairie fire scorched their land. The fire may have done them in, with all their possessions, if it hadn’t been for the quick action of the driver of the wagon, who started a backfire.”

     Writers delight in hanging human or animal characteristics on prairie fires such as marching and advancing like an army; the fire could not only run, but it could jump; faster than a horse could run; its hot breath threatening destruction; plus so many more examples. 

     Let’s hope for adequate rainfall.

     

 ***  ***  ***

On a particular morning over breakfast, my wife and I bantered about things in our personal world. Something she said permitted me to see a  story bouncing around. She busies herself with genealogical research and writing the results and then takes it a step beyond just listing names and dates. She often asks herself what did these people from the past do, what were they like, how did their descendent families fare with their lives, and so forth.

     She mentioned how this one particular  branch of Norwegian ancestors includes a good many bachelors. We don’t know if the reason was a shortage of women, bashfulness, poverty, or other reasons. But it was a common enough occurrence for an old favorite entertainer Garrison Keillor to often spoke of those Norwegian bachelor farmers in his hometown of Lake Woebegon. 

     Now I like Garrison Keillor enough that I’ve recently ordered from his online collection a book of his limerick poetry. He’s a clever dude who can write interesting material and deliver it well. To go a step further, I had to splurge with one of his t-shirts. In large letters, the acronym POEM displays prominently on the front. On the back the letters spell out Professional Organization of English Majors. 

     This is not a real organization, an official one that is, but one he’s invented one that presents some of his humor. He often mentioned it in his regular weekly program from which he unfortunately has retired. I still enjoy some of his recent writing.  

     Two other writers with huge followings recently died and left a big void in the literary field. Beverly Cleary wrote children’s and young adult’s books about everyday kids including some well-known characters of her imagination as Ramona Quimby, Henry Huggins, and Ralph S. Mouse. NPR radio said, “She has always thought like a kid.”

     Larry McMurtry became popular with his best-seller, Lonesome Dove. Many lovers of western literature will attest to its being the best. He wrote many other books, too, and wasn’t afraid to deal with controversial material. He and a writing partner wrote the screenplay for “Brokeback Mountain,” the story about a love affair between two cowboys. Like it or not, the film won an Oscar 

As It Emptied, the Echoes Grew

It still looks good, that old limestone building, the Methodist Church in Sheldon. Sure, some of the paint on the trim is peeling and the shingles look a bit grim, but those rock walls that have faced the elements for many years look as good as the day they were set in place. Memories of my one-time church home took us back on Saturday, April 10, to attend their rummage sale where they sold everything. Everything meant pews, organs, pianos, light fixtures, dishes, pictures, whatever could be carried out the door was sold for a reasonable offer. 

   This church  has suffered the same fate as those small-town schools; declining enrollment was unable to support continued operation. Now, with so few members, it just couldn’t operate any longer.  Harold Krueger, an original member, said attendance had dwindled to only half a dozen or fewer worshipers most Sundays.

   The building’s cornerstone had been set in place seventy-three years ago in 1948 when it came into existence as the Evangelical United Brethren church. Although the lineage of this congregation traces back even further, it developed through various merging to its present identity as the Immanuel United Methodist Church.

   Krueger reminisced about the time it was built, and how his dad would volunteer his hand with building it and leaving teen-age Harold at home to take care of things on the farm. Others remembered that time. Dick Schroeder, now living in Washington, watched local men digging a spot for the furnace room. He added, “A lot of that church was built by the men in the congregation.” 

   Schroeder called to mind the popular youth groups he enjoyed participating in when the church was completed. And who could forget the appetizing aromas of food and coffee that came from the kitchen whenever people gathered. We can’t even guess at the number of funerals, weddings, and anniversaries blessed within those walls.

   Richard Bratland lives just across the street and commented how earlier that morning the street had been filled with cars and pickups. One couple came down from Casselton to buy items for a new church starting up there. Another party bought pews at $25 each. Asked if they were going to a church they said no, they were just taking them home. My wife bought a few pieces of nice glassware for a few dollars.

   Few people remain to mourn the loss of their church, and now the large building will  sit empty. What are the plans for it? The answer was always “It’s for sale.” The matter seems to be out of their hands, though, since it now belongs to the Church Conference.

 

A New Car

 We thought we'd get another new car and here it is: a 2021 Subaru Forester.

Dangerous Animals

  

A news item recently aired on television showing a man carrying a young child into a zoo enclosure where an elephant ran freely. The elephant took offense at the intrusion and started charging at them. Lucky for the man, he quickly retreated to get himself and the child back to safety. I can’t think of many ways of dying that would be worse than getting trampled by drum-sized hoofs unless it’s being gored by a bull.

     It just so happens I’ve got some bull stories. One of them just appeared in the form of a prose-poem in the weekly High Plains Reader. I’d like to post it here in its entirety, but I must respect copyright laws. To paraphrase it, it’s about an eleven year old girl who is afraid of the bull in their barnyard. Her father tells her if you don’t show him who’s boss, “that bull’s going to kill you someday.” 

     He hands her a steel pipe and tells her to confront the bull, but not to worry because he’ll be standing by with rifle in hand. Ferdinand, I’ll call him that, sees her and begins the expected pawing and throwing-dirt-over-his-back routine. The girl stands there scared, but with father standing by, she charges the bull with the pipe raised high to meet the advancing bull and hits him as hard as she can between his eyes. At the end of the poem, we learn she connected solidly because ole Ferdinand “stumbles out of the barnyard on legs it can’t make work.” Her proud father tells her she is the boss now.

     Farm kids experience all manners of danger, me included. Too young to help with the milking,  I played around the barnyard when the cows were in the barn. Like the girl above, there is a bull in my story, too. Luckily I spotted him a short distance away with his eyes on me, pawing dirt and then charging towards me. Now Dad was in the process of building a lean-to on the east side of the barn which he had not yet finished siding. The rough wall boards had knotholes and spaces here and there which let my hands and toes get a grip. I climbed and reached the safety of the roof and started hollering. Dad came with his pitchfork and in turn charged the bull. Like the Ferdinand above, this one respected the steel in sharp fork tines and turned to retreat to the pasture. Maybe Dad even drew blood, but the bull was sold shortly after.

     A quick search of Google using the search term “gored by a bull” turned up a multiple of recent farmer deaths from just that. We always believed dairy breed bulls made the biggest threat towards humans. The dairy state of Wisconsin has their share of stories.

     One lady seemed to remember accurately an incident from 50 years before. Her younger brother had fallen into a bull pen where he suffered repeated battering against the gate. She grabbed a pitchfork, jumped into the pen, and started jabbing him in the head. She must have stuck the tines deep enough into his head to cause pain and distract the bull long enough to get her brother out of there.

    We were always told not to wear red clothes around a bull because it will tempt them to charge. But that was false advice. They are color blind and cannot see red. Remember the lady cattle expert Temple Grandin? She says they lack the red retina receptor and can only see yellow, green, blue, and violet colors.

     Even though bullfighters use a red cape, it’s not the color, it’s the movement of the cape that causes them to charge. The towards the end of the fight, the matador uses it to hide his sword which he uses to pierce the bull as it charges past. The red color masks the bloodstains.

     Maybe red shouldn’t be worn around humans because it is said to trigger opposing emotions and is often associated with passion and love as well as anger and danger. It can increase a person’s heart rate and make them excited. 

     The Conde Nast organization prints a lot of travel materials. As a courtesy to their readers, I’d guess, they’ve listed the ten most dangerous animals in the world. In the top three, starting with number 3 is the tsetse fly from the sub-Saharan region. It’s bite can cause sleeping sickness. Number 2 is the mosquito found everywhere except Antarctica. A whole host of illnesses can be caused by their bite. Number 1, humans top the list. We’ve been killing each other for thousands of years.

     Wars, personal assaults, mass shootings, and terrorist attacks all count toward our inhumanity towards each other. The threat of mass annihilation always exists: think atomic weapons. It’s like Conde Nast says, “we are easily number one on the list of the most dangerous animals in the world.